In the Eyes of the Lord
by Elle-ish
Summary: At 23 years old, James Diamond is a Priest of a Catholic Church in a small town where homosexuality is seen as a horrible sin. Logan Mitchell is a Superstar, trying to show James that it's okay to be who he truly is. Deals with denial/anger/acceptance of homosexuality, heavy religious and possible blasphemous themes. AU, Oneshot, Jagan with minor Kenlos. Do not mean to offend


SO! New story.

Okay, Inspiration: One of my friends is extremely religious. He's a great guy, he is jut very passionate about what he believes in, and is one of those people to shove those beliefs down your throat. He is kind of against everything that I believe in. I also have this other, older friend (more my mom's friend than mine) who is also extremely gay, flamboyant. I love him, he is just so cute!

Anyways, my religious buddy thinks that I'm going to hell because I'm associating with _that_ kind. He keeps quoting bible quotes to me (which I kind of wish I listened to, because this was a pain to write wtihout it :p) I am not interested in the same sex, but I am very protective to those who are, since I even know some who are embarrassed to come out. My heart just goes out to them, since they can't be who they truly are (IMHO) And now, the religious boy keeps posting status' and pics on Facebook about God, and Gays, and other things that I won't get in to. I've told him to stop. Like, I know he won't ever change his mind and I won't ever change mine, but I think he just needs to stop posting images against homosexuality because everyone has their own opinions and he's hurting other's feelings. Keep it to himself or to his friends, don't share it with the world. And all of his other religious friends keep posting cruel comments on these images, saying how sinful it is, destructive, inhumane and wrong it is, and how gays should all go to hell. And everyone else is fighting saying that it's okay to be gay, yada yada, and it's just this whole explosion of Homosexuality vs. Christians on Facebook. THUS! This fic was born. I was angry, therefore I wrote this. TADA!

Oh yah, originally it as going to be Logan as the Priest, and James as the rockstar since that's closer to their characters of the show, but I'm going for different here, so why not change it up? Btw, I'm not really sure if this should be RATED T or M... help?

_ITALICS are memories from James' past_

**IMPORTANT**: Lastly, I am not religious in the least. I have never read the bible, and I only know the most well-known stories. I'm not even sure if I really believe in God, Heaven and/or Hell. It's just not something I tend to think about. My Mom believes though, but she believes in a sympathetic God, and that makes more sense to me then what my religous buddy believes in (live you life by the word of the Lord or get sent to Hell...) I sort of celebrate Christmas, Easter and my Birthday but that's about it. I don't go to Church either, so my knowledge is extremely limited. I do not intend to offend anyone, as the themes could be potentially blasphemous since I'm going against the bible, per say. If I misquote anything, I'm sorry, I've only tried to intertwine the quotes that went well with the story, even though I realize that they were probably talking about quite different things. Read at your own risk if you're heavily religious. I do not mean to offend, this is just basically my sort of thoughts on the subject... I am extremely nervous about this one. But I like it, so hopefully at least one other person will as well? We can only hope :)

**Warning**: Probability of many grammatical errors is high. Possible blasphemous and extremely religious themes. Suggestive themes as well as profanities.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Big Time Rush, nor the biblical verses

* * *

"Father Diamond... what is homosexuality?"

"Fundamentally speaking, 'Homosexuality' is a sexual orientation of a person who develops romantic and or sexual attachments with another person of the same gender. You see, my Son, we are all of God's creation. Men and female are all here to create God's inner unity. To love another man and lay with another man is an abomination in God's eyes, as it goes against that unity he has created for us."

Inside the confession box, James Diamond, Priest of the well known Catholic Church, sat listening as other's let the weight off their shoulders onto that of the Priest's.

This particular boy, a senior at High School as James had found out earlier in time, had been coming to confessions almost weekly, deeply disturbed by his own tendencies and fantasies.

James did everything he could, but it seemed as if nothing could save the young boy.

He was off to live the rest of his life in hell, and the boy hated himself for it. He even tried going to a camp for his case, specifically, the previous summer and it seemed to work.

For a while. Now the boy was back, and James only prayed each night that he could be saved by the Lord.

The child seemed kind, caring and had an innocence inside of him that James almost never saw now a days.

"It happened again, Father. We were just hanging out at my house, watching movies and playing video games, and I just had a sudden urge to kiss him. His lips just looked like they were begging me to touch them with my own. I almost did, Father." The young boy's voice broke as he tried desperately to hold in his sobs. "I almost did it, Father."

James sighed, watching parts of the child's face through the screen. He looked so young, even if he was only a few years younger than James himself.

Finding his weary voice, James began to speak. "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination- Leviticus 18:22. As well, in Leviticus 20:13 it is stated that 'If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them'.

The young boy's head droops fatefully low, pained with the demons of his own mind.

"I understand, Father. You tell me every time, and I pray with those passages in my head every night."

James eyes narrowed deeply. "And yet, you sit here, week after week, unable to connect with God and grasp what he wants you to do. Did you memorize the passage I told you about?"

The boy's deep, apologetic and guilt ridden brown eyes meet James'. "Romans 1:26-27, Father?"

James nodded his head, replying with a sullen 'Yes'. He was truly losing faith in the boy.

"Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones...'In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error." The boy recited, scarily over rehearsed.

"Do you wish to receive a due penalty for your errors?" James asked tightly.

"No, Father. I do not."

James smiled softly. "As long as you do not act on these tendencies of yours, I believe you shall be fine."

"But- how can I live the rest of my life like this? Having these thoughts, wishes that I can't control." He asked at once, frightened to his core by the repulsive thought.

James gave an audible sigh, shaking his head sadly. "God has an answer for everyone, my Son. In due time, he will answer yours as well."

"... Thank you, Father." With an obnoxious sigh, the boy abruptly left the confines of the confession box, leaving James to deal with a women who had committed adultery. James' thoughts remained on the boy and his problems, wishing that he didn't, no, _couldn't_ sympathize with the boy.

He knew how it felt to be homosexual in God's eyes.

Those tendencies and wishes and fantasies never left.

James sometimes felt like the boy, he had no control.

* * *

Logan Mitchell, 24 and already one of the world's biggest sensations. He had sold out concerts in every venue, singing to his tens of thousands of fans each night. He had made the charts in countries worldwide, from almost all of South America and Europe, to other Countries in Asia and Africa. He was a hit, and one of his biggest achievements (the one he was exceedingly proud of) was gaining over 40 million twitter followers. He blew everyone else out of the water, and currently held the most followers online.

But even World Famous Superstars need time off. He knew it was true when people said that you can never really go home again, but all Logan really needed was a visit.

2... 3 days... Maybe 1 week or 2 at tops. He still had superstardom and fame to uphold, so unfortunately, vacation couldn't be_ too_ long, or else his fans would become reckless.

One of the boy's first stops was where his singing career began.

A small little bar in the heart of the town called 'Achilles Heel'.

Despite the absurd name with no other meaning other than the allusion to 'The Iliad' itself, Logan loved the little bar.

He sometimes felt that it was more like a home than his own mansion was.

He put on a simple pair of shades, and placed a medium length brunet wig over his head, keeping himself clear of that ravage percent of the fan base that seemed to follow him everywhere.

The bar still holds the same atmosphere. It's small, tiny, and not many people seem to be gracing the pub with their presence.

The bartender stood behind the counter, washing a glass with a yellow towel. An older gentleman supporting a beer belly sat alone in the corner, smoking a cig and reading the newspaper.

A couple sat in a booth, talking quietly and enjoying the friendly conversation between themselves.

The only other occupant of the room sat on a stool in front of the bartender, sipping a glass of wine sadly. His hazel eyes were unseeing to the world around him as he was lost in thought.

There's something enticing about the man on the stool. Maybe it was the way his brown bangs fell gracefully over his eyes, or how it looked like he wore makeup even though it was obviously natural.

Maybe it was the way his lips were parted, seeming to move up and down, forming the same silent sentence over and over.

But more than likely, it was the length of his legs mixed the tight jeans he was wearing, and how beautiful his butt looked from Logan's point of view, that enticed the raven haired male the most.

Licking his lips, Logan rolled up and sat himself in the stool next to the unmoving beauty.

"Anything you'd like, sir?" The bartender asked, a huff parting his greying moustached lips.

"Ahhh-" Logan said as thought dryly, "Got any Budweiser?"

The bartender shook his head, annoyed by the question. It seemed as though he had heard it only a million times. "Just Heineken and Coors." His raspy voice answered roughly.

"Coors, please." Logan replied.

The bartender went to work on Logan's drink, and Logan found himself biting his lip, watching the tanned boy beside him.

God, what he would do to just touch those legs. Logan was known to be a bit over the edge. He didn't do drugs, but it was a known fact that he drank frequently and did just about anything with legs.

Girls, guys, you name it.

As long as it was alive and wasn't an animal and/or under 18 years of age, Logan didn't complain.

But damned, not even the sexy twins he held last week in Sweden didn't have legs that could compare to this man's.

And those twins were going off to the Olympics for Rhythmic Gymnastics...

Finally breaking the fantasies that were entering his disturbed mind, Logan decided that he was Logan Mitchell. He could get anyone!

"Hey," He said with a friendly yet seductive smile. "I'm Logan."

The man's large eyes were raised and met Logan's, not completely sure if the man seemed to be talking to him, or the ghost behind him.

He glanced around the room, suddenly realizing that he was the only one at the bar.

He turned back to Logan, his previous frown beginning to be replaced with a small, false smile. "Hi, I'm James." He answered, his voice as small as his smile. Tiny, meek and weak all in one.

Logan shook James' hand, keeping his eyes on the beautiful hazel, rimmed with a deep dark green eyes before him.

"So, what brings you to Achilles' Heel, James?" Logan asked before he could even stop himself.

"I've been giving someone advice recently," James began to admit, sipping his red wine uncomfortably. "It's not helping, and I don't really know what else to say. Nothing I do seems to make sense to him, so I'm here, trying to think up another possible solution to get him help."

Logan nodded his head. "Maybe he doesn't want help... Is he into drugs?" He asks politely.

"No."

"Alcohol abuse?"

"No."

"... Sex addict? Bestiality? Necrophilia? Is he channeling Bella Swan?"

"oh my- No!"

"Hmm... Bulimic? Anorexic? Suicide? Depression? Abuser, abusee-? What is it?"

"None of those things..." James answered with a sullen tone. His hand began to thread itself through his brown locks, matting the usually perfect look on top of his head.

"Then, in my eyes, it can't be that bad." Logan answered, beginning to sip his newly found beer. Sipping the foam, an idea popped into his mind. "Oh! He got a chick preggo!" He almost yelled, point his pointer finger wildly at James.

James rolled his eyes dramatically. "No, nothing like that. He's... He's gay..."

Logan's eyes shot up, beginning to understand this man's situation. "Ohh, and your '_friend' _is afraid to come out and tell his parents?"

James' eyebrows arched in confusion. "No. He's gay, _that's_ the problem."

"How is that a problem?"

"Because it's a sin and he'll go to hell!" It was at this moment that the bartender interrupts the bizarre conversation. "More wine, Father?" He asked politely, holding up the half filled bottle red wine.

James gave a shaky 'yes' as a reply.

Logan bit his lips again. So, this man was religious, and just happened to be known as 'Father'. Which meant he was a Priest, Catholic.

Must be the Priest for the Catholic Church on South Dale drive, Logan thought simultaneously. Logan heard about this kid from his old buddies.

His father was the Priest before the elder man died of a sudden heart attack when James was 19, and James was the one to step up and take on his Dad's role.

The last time Logan talked to any of his old buddies was four years ago, so this beauty just happened to be 23. Just one year younger then Logan himself.

Bless Logan's mind for still being able to calculate simple mathematic equations inside his head!

And while watching James sip his wine spontaneously, Logan couldn't help but to think;

Challenge accepted.

"You know, I don't see anything wrong with being gay." Logan said, taking a large gulp of his beer and getting up from his stool. He walked the few measly centimeters from where he stood to behind James' back.

He placed his calloused hands on top of James' shoulders, somewhat aroused by how the younger man visibly tensed underneath his fingertips.

"Have you ever felt a man's arms around you, holding your waist tightly, protectively to make everyone know that you're theirs?" Logan breathed deeply into James' ear.

"Have you ever felt the fine little stubble on his chin as he kisses you deeply, wanting to search every part of your being." He asked breathing over James' neck, the little hairs beginning to spike up at the touch. The calloused hands were rubbing sensually into the younger man's muscles, and James could barely stifle back a moan. He had to put down his wine glass, afraid it might shatter if his shaking fingers decided to let go and watch the glass drop to the floor, shattering in fragments.

"Have you ever felt a man over top of you, taking you as his own, pounding into you so hard that you see the bright lights from Heaven above, begging God to please,_ please never let this stop_ as he hits that sweet spot over... and over... and over again."Logan watched with such an intense gaze as James closed his eyes and took a shaking breath. Logan concentrated on James as the 23 year old _Priest _moved his own hands down to his crotch, as if to keep that little forming bulge down.

"Or who knows, maybe you like to be the one in control, take the other one. Watching as your dick squeezes in and out of a tight little ass, sucking it in further. Imagine someone underneath of you, someone muscular that you don't have to be careful with, as if they're a fragile piece of glass. You can pound into them as hard as you want, and they're withering underneath of you, begging for more..."

James tightened his grip, trying with all of his might to keep his control and not to let this stranger get to him.

Have control.

What would his Father say about this?

What would God say about this?

"Let yourself go, admit you want to know the feeling. It's better than anything you've ever felt. If you can't be yourself, than I wonder if your '_friend's'_ problem is because he's gay, or if it's due to his religion." Logan quickly decided to go the extra step, swinging his right hand around James' torso and grabbing the large bulge, squeezing it over James' hands, and quickly moving away.

James turned his head slightly, noticing how Logan's hair, his obviously fake wig, was barely hanging on to his head.

Small bits of raven hair fell from beneath the cap, and James could barely even register his confusion. That emotion was drowned out completely by the realization of what he just let happen.

"It was nice meeting you James. Here's my number if you ever want to_ talk_ again." The man shoved a small card near James' drink, watching as James read the number aloud and swiftly hid the card in his pocket, a reddening blush blanketing his face.

With a smirk, Logan paid for his drink and promptly left the bar, never stopping the replay within in his mind of how James writhed underneath his fingertips, obviously subconsciously enjoying Logan's hands over his clothed member.

* * *

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. Forgive me Father for I have sinned. For-forgive me Father for I have sinned. Sinned. Forgive, I-" James began to choke from his kneeled position on the ground, coughing loudly and crudely. He couldn't believe it.

He, that man. Logan, his name was. He-he-

James could almost hear the voice of his Father and _His_ voice, bearing down on him. Telling him how pathetic he was, how he couldn't even stay on the right track. His Father was right, James would never succeed in anything.

James would never enter Heaven now. He could never live his life to justice. His Father would never be proud of him, neither would God.

James knew he was falling off the right path, but nothing he seemed to do, worked.

He couldn't go to a 'Straight' camp like that Boy at confession had done, oh no. He was a well known Priest! To be seen as a sinner at the camp, looking for aid, would be excruciating. Everyone would find out and he would be reprimanded. He'd be forced to leave his smaller town, the one he'd grown up in all of his life and loved more than anything.

But- everyone was so dependent on him and the words of the Lord. So many boys from higher class families had been forced to leave, and were never seen again.

James couldn't do that. He didn't want to be alone.

He had no one.

* * *

"_James, read __Corinthians 6:9-10," His Father said aloud. It was a tradition, to read a half an hour of passages of the bible, or the scripture after dinner. _

_James sat near the fireplace in his own leather chair, opening his book and beginning to read the page. "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor __homosexual offenders__ nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."_

_His Father smiled at him proudly. "That is correct my son. No idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, drunks, slanderers or swindlers will ever be able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Fall down any of the incorrect paths, my son, and then you shall never see I nor your Mother and God in the afterlife."_

_James' saddened gaze stayed upon one word within that entire scripture. The young, 13 year old male had been having feelings that he didn't understand lately. If his Mother was still alive, maybe James would have been able to talk to her about his confusion, why James suddenly seemed interested in the other boys in the dressing rooms. He just didn't understand._

_God creates everyone the way he wants to. Why would God make James see males in that light? It just didn't make sense to him, and James knew that his Father would never understand._

"_I understand, Father." James finally spoke, re-reading the paragraph over and over and over again._

"_Good, now remember the words of Proverb 3:5: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."_

_James began to get up from his position, exiting the room to the stairwell, saying all the way, "Proverb 3:6: in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."_

_His Father, a small cup of wine in his hand and rubbing off a stain, obtained during their short supper, from his suit. He only smiled widely at his own son. "Great job, James. Now, I want you to write 1 Corinthians 10:13, ten times before you return to your homework. Off you go son, you have a big game tomorrow, and you must catch up on your sleep." The man spoke, glancing at his watch and reading the time. It was barely even 7 o'clock in the evening._

_The younger version of James smiled softly at his Father from the stairwell. A smile so false, so cruelly different than the genuine one of his Father. "Yes, Father."He spoke, his voice small and not his own._

_He was just about you put his first foot on the steps to dash into his room, his only freedom of the day, only to be stopped by the voice of Father Diamond, yet again. "And James,"_

_The long haired brunette boy turned, his Father's smile suddenly gone and turned into a weak frown. _

"_If I ever hear from the counselors about your little talks about..." A deep, devastating breath was taken. His Father was incredibly disappointed at the younger Diamond, forcing James to take a gulp. "... -Looking at other boys again, a-and if I ever have to hear from passing mouths the rumors of you being... with __that__ kind, you know the consequences. Don't let it happen again, James."_

"_I won't, Father."_

23 year old James sat on the edge of his bed, bible in his hand, re-reading a certain verse from many years ago.

1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that can stand up under it.

... Where was God now, when James was tempted most and was begging for God to help?

He didn't want this life.

He wanted to be normal, with a family, a wife, children. He wanted his children to grow up in the same small town he had grown up in.

But James almost knew that he'd never be happy with that life, even though it's what he so desperately wanted.

James just wanted a life that he knew his parents would be proud of him living, even if James himself wasn't.

* * *

"Well, some things never change!" A voice calls from the benches rowed in front of James. James stood behind the pulpit, going over his next sermon for Sunday morning. Today was Thursday, and James just had a few last things to run through.

His eyes left the safety of the published words on paper, seeing a smiling familiar face.

'Logan' from the other night. Except, this time the wig was off, and James had to hold in an audible gasp.

It was Logan Mitchell... THE Logan Mitchell!

James' heart suddenly seemed to be pounding against his chest like a musician pounding a drum to a reckless rock song.

"Remember me from the bar?" Logan asks, taking off his sunglasses. He runs his hands, the same sinning hands that have touched so many other girls, men and now James, through his natural raven coloured hair.

"Logan... What are you doing here?" James wanted so badly to be rude to this man, but he couldn't. Something somewhere was holding him back.

He just couldn't find it in his heart to be cruel to Logan.

Logan smiled and shrugged at James.

"I... I love your music, Mr. Mitchell. It's... Your latest single 'Rise Above' was just amazing." James spoke weakly, breath staggered and ragged. James almost mentioned how he owned every single one of Logan Mitchell's albums, EPs, his two films (even if it was just a cameo), or how he secretly recorded anything on TV that Logan performed or was interviewed on.

James had wanted to see him in concert so many times, but what Logan Mitchell stood for would hurt James' rep, so he had to keep his secret obsession hidden.

It was just one more thing to be locked away, and the key thrown far, far away.

But right now, it was hard to keep in that James was fan-girling... Hard.

This man had_ touched_ him the other night. Was this something to faint over, or reprimand Logan for?

Logan gave a short, almost cute laugh. "Well, I try," He says confidently. "Nice place you got here. It isn't much different from when I used to come here with my folks during the good ole days." Logan laughs, placing himself on one of the wearing bench seats.

James takes a large gulp, noticing how the light just hits Logan's showing biceps, the shadows accentuating the muscle tone seemingly perfectly. The man wasn't overly muscular, but he was toned and lean, like a soccer player.

"You came to this church when my Father was in charge?" James asks immediately, his tone filled with unwanted questions and needed answers.

"Every Sunday, Christmas, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and almost every other occasion possible." Logan offered with disappointment, as if he didn't like being forced to all those events when he was younger.

"But... aren't you...?" James asked without missing a beat. Quickly and rapidly was James' method right now. Find out as much as you can before your mind takes over and forces you to stop.

"Bisexual? Uh, yah. I don't see why that matters though. I am who I am and I'm happy. My parents are happy. There's no issue."

James bit his hip harshly, moving himself from the pulpit and placing himself on one of the steps entering the aisle towards the far entrance, only a few feet away from Logan Mitchell himself.

More silent moments passed, until James finally broke the calm.

"... How? In this town, especially. Didn't you ever feel guilty, that you were going against the words of the Lord?"

Logan shrugged as if this question was just so easy for him to conquer, as if the situation was never really a problem for Logan.

"I guess in some ways, ya. This town is full of Goddamn hypocrites-"

"Do not take the Lords name of vain, especially when you are in a place of worship." James scowled deeply.

Logan held up his hands in defense. "Right, sorry... James,err- Father James. Anyways, ya it sucked because everyone here is homophobic. My parents told me not to tell anyone, not because they were embarrassed, but because they knew the harassment I would get if word got out I was different. I don't think it's homosexuals that scare the people here, it's just the unknown that does. Something that people aren't used to. Something that's different is always scary. People just don't know how to perceive it, so I left once High School was done. Like I said, it never really bothered me, it just bothered me knowing that my friends would turn on me if I told them my little secret of being bisexual." Logan explains as if he's either explained it a thousand times before, or had thought it over, word for word if anyone dare ask him the uncertain question.

Yet, it wasn't forced, nor did it seem rehearsed. Logan just knew how to translate his thoughts and feelings carefully into words.

"I can understand why it must be hard, Father." Logan pipes up. He begins to lift himself from the bench that only brings back painful memories of those long mornings, sitting and listening to an older man preach while Logan's butt extremely hurt.

The benches were definitely not made to be sat in for long lengths of time.

The raven haired superstar places himself in front of James, unsure of why he was so interested by this being.

He could have anyone, talk to anyone. Why was he wasting his short vacation time talking to a repressed minister, or reverend or... What was James again? Father? Father! ... Right.

It was bizarre calling a man younger than Logan's self 'Father'. It just didn't seem right. James was much too young. He should be out and about, getting drunk and having the time of his life. Not watching his every move as to not offend any of the people in the town.

Logan almost felt sorry for the boy in front of him. He was hiding away and it was obviously killing him, keeping that certain secret.

"James," Logan started, finding the right words to say. "I can spot a homosexual a mile away,"

... Was that really the best Logan could do? He stopped mid sentence, bit his lip and shook his head. But, he figured instead of trying again to make James feel better, he decided to just go with what he had already said. No matter how stupid it was.

"An-and right now, I know that I'm only a few centimeters away from one. Why won't you just admit it?" Oh yah, Logan was doing swell with his impromptu speech...

"Be yourself for once. Don't worry what others think, okay?" Logan doesn't stop himself when his hands find themselves placed on James' heightened cheekbones, the brunette's skin flushing at the contact.

"I know you want it, why not just go for it?" Logan's deep dark eyes began to shut, the inches between their faces beginning to close as both begin to descend towards one another.

The sight of Logan's lips did something to James. He did want it. He wanted to feel another man's lips against his own, create that scene the Logan forced into his mind just a few nights ago. He wanted so desperately to kiss him, watching as Logan's lips parted sensually as they finally fell against James own.

James kept his eyes open, feeling the hot breaths from Logan's nostril tickling his cheek. Logan began nibbling the bottom of his lip, and James opened his mouth in anticipation and instinct.

A tongue darted into James' mouth and the two pink muscles began a slow dance.

Placing his hands onto Logan's shoulders, he pulled the boy closer, begging for it the kiss to deepen.

Logan, startled by the sudden movement, let out a loud gasp. He soon got over his shock, and gripped onto James' formal shirt, pulling the boy closer.

The mouths were closing and opening around each other, lips wet and soft from the moisture. Moan and groans could be heard as an echo around the room of worship as their hands were ravenous against the other's clothed bodies, never feeling enough.

And it was if something just kicked James in the gut. He lurched upward, forcefully removing Logan from his arms..

"I... I..." James began, voice wavering miserably. "You should leave!" He screamed at Logan, finding his voice.

"James, just please listen-"

"Get out. Your type isn't welcome here." James spat out with a deadly tone.

Logan watched James, apologies written inside his eyes. Without another word, Logan put his hands up in defeat and left the room.

What had made Logan want to kiss the other man so badly? He just couldn't understand it.

This was more than some challenge. James obviously wasn't going to give in anytime soon, and was too stuck in denial to realize how wrong he was.

Logan would have given up after the bar, rather than search for two hours to find the old church, just to see the young Priest again.

* * *

James continued the small ceremony. He called out the overly rehearsed chant loudly as he brought up a golden, jewelled engraved cup, laying it over the baby's crying form.

It was still so young, barely even two weeks. James was frightened of drowning the poor thing. Truthfully, he was frightened of drowning any child, so he used only a blessed cup by the Pope himself, and poured the liquid over any child under the age of three.

'I baptize you-" His voice wavered as did his hand. He couldn't do this. He shouldn't be doing this. He was no longer blessed by God to spread the Lord's words. He was basically sinned to a life of misery and without hope.

It was by a sin so terrible that James would never be able to enter Heaven and visit his family again.

"-in the name of the Father,"

Couldn't the parents of the Child tell how disgusting James was? How ill-fit for the job he was? Couldn't they tell, or were they blinded by the obvious?

"and of the Son,"

James wanted to cry. Was he sentencing this child's life to one like James' own? Could James' homosexuality be spread like an infectious disease, carrying the malady onto the child for all of eternity?

Was James dooming this Child's life, when it had barely even begun? James could hear in the back of his mind a simple 'Yes'.

And it was all because he had kissed Logan. A kiss full of passion and want and desperation.

It was all because he was still having fantasies of said superstar. Dark, detailed fantasies that sickened even James.

Fantasies that appeared at the worst of times, even during a baptism.

" and of the Holy Ghost."

The final drops of the Holy Water were dropped. James' disease had been spread, and now James could almost see the horrible germ spread across the child's withering body.

If the child does turn out gay, it's all James' fault.

The brunette doesn't know how he would ever deal with knowing.

He just condemned a life to hell.

* * *

"_Hey, sup fag?" The main jock, Lucas, said, pushing James into his locker as his possy of other, large, steroid using jocks began to laugh._

_Lucas noticed the way James' Cuda Man spray held his long brown locks when James took a forced dive into the locker, never messing up the brown perfection. Lucas immediately laughed. "What the hell is in your hair? Hairspray? Dude, don't you know that that shit's for girls?" His hand ran through James' hair, messing up the 45 minutes it took to obtain that perfection._

_James didn't talk back, he just glanced down, embarrassed that this seemed to be happening yet again._

"_And is that eyeliner and mascara you're wearing? Oh my god you guys, the fags wearing make up!" Lucas called. The laugh that emitted from the group was chilling. Other students walked freely around the halls, a second glance not even given to the bullied boy._

_James wanted to say no, that it was just natural, but he knew that it wouldn't help. If he spoke back, the jocks would be on him like vultures finally getting their prey._

_So, in a silent retort, James meekly shook his head._

"_Hey, I heard fag's got the lead in the upcoming musical," Another jock, Thomas called out from behind Lucas. _

_Lucas slowly turned towards James, shoving roughly once more and sneering. "Wow, hair spray, make-up and now a musical? You really are a fag! I wonder how Daddy's going to handle hearing that."_

_James' head shot up from his locker door. 'No!' He began to plead, but Lucas swiftly slammed a fist into his face._

"_Shut up fag, your kind don't belong here."_

* * *

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

Through the small cracks of wood between the confession box, James could immediately tell that it was the same, soft spoken boy who came to him oh-so often, begging for forgiveness.

"What is it, my child?" James spoke, a false sense of sympathy lay in his voice.

James knew the exact reason why this kid was here.

"It happened again, Father... B-But this time, he started it, but I didn't stop it and, and.. and I just lost control."

"What do you mean, lost control?" James emphasized, forcing the boy to talk.

"You know... just lost control."

"No, my Son. I _do not_ know. You are here to confess you sins, therefore a true confession must take place. It needn't be detailed, but the Lord asks you to confess for him. I believe you can pay our Father back for his kindness that he has repeatedly shown to you, during your situation." James spat harshly. Each word dripped with poison and self disgust even more than the last.

This boy. He hated how much he could relate to him, how much pity he felt for him. James hated that he understood perfectly what he was going through.

"Oh, umm, alright." The boy said weakly, the tone filled with embarrassment and shame.

"He... .We were hanging out at his house, and I don't know what happened. He just jumped me and started kissing me... and I liked it, Father. I really liked it. We started making out and touching, and I never stopped it. We never went any further than touching, but please Father, forgive me. I couldn't keep control."

"I don't know what to say anymore, my child." James speaks roughly and he watches the sad, sombre brown eyes collapse towards to ground. "You're a sinner. You're going against the words of the Lord. You will never be normal in his eyes, so why should he help someone like yourself. You're a disgusting, vile human being, and God does not take kindly to your kind."

James suddenly realized that he was no longer talking to the Boy, but to himself. He was disgusting. He was vile. Everything he thought of himself was just poured out and beaten into the boy on the other side of the confession box.

"Please, Father. Please help me. Please make me right again!" The boy begged pitifully.

"I think God has given up on you, and so have I." James began to shut to confession door, stopping when he heard a sudden cry.

"Please, Father. I'm afraid I'm going to hell!"

"That's because you_ are_ going to hell."

James closed the connection between the two, no longer forced to look at those pleading brown eyes any longer.

The boy was going to hell.

In the back of his mind, James could hear his own numb voice say towards the scared child, "I'll see you there."

* * *

"You were struggling through the ceremony today." Logan's voice appeared as James washed his face with his roughened hands in the public restroom of the church. It was a ritual of sorts for James, it was as if the water made him clean, so to speak.

Every time he had thoughts of himself, or another male, or things were just getting to rough to handle, he'd walk into the bathroom, and run water through his fingers and splash it onto his face.

He didn't know where this came from, but it made him feel a bit better nonetheless.

"... Logan..." Was the only audible thing that James could say as he looked through the mirror, seeing Logan's body behind him.

"Just wanted to say 'Hi'" Logan laughed loudly, the lull of his voice echoed through the clean walls.

James just shook his head. "Please, right now is not the best time." He dropped back towards the sink in front of him, continuing to clean his face.

"I think right now is the best time. Come on, let's go for coffee... Except I might have to wear shades and my wig again." Logan said with yet another loud laugh.

And James had no idea what in the world led him to say yes.

* * *

"So," Logan began, holding his coffee cup with both of his hands, watching James play with the fabric of his jeans in anxiety. "How's life?" He asked pathetically, not finding anything better to say.

James watched the steam rising from his coffee cup, debating on whether or not he should take a sip.

"... Fine, I guess. What about you? How's the short break from fame treating you?"

Logan bit his lip, staring at James. The lust was obvious within in his deep dark eyes, but control was still present.

As long as control was present on both ends, James figured he was safe.

"It's fine. I'm a little bored, which I guess could explain why I asked you out for coffee. Well that, and you're hot."

James, who decided to try and sip his coffee, choked on the liquid running down his throat. He found himself lucky that he had swallowed, or else his saliva mixed coffee would currently be all over Logan.

Logan laughed, loving the sight of James fretting. "Just kidding, although you are good looking. But, that's not the reason I'm hanging out with you."

"Then why are you hanging out with me?" James asked, putting his coffee down for the time being.

"Because I like you. You're different, not like all the other jerks in this town. I don't know, I feel like I can sit back and relax with you, and not be all tight lipped... which is weird due to your job and your thoughts on homosexuality and all... But, other than that, I don't usually tell anyone the story of my being bisexual in this town, and yet I almost told you on spot during our second meeting. There's just something about you I like." Logan replied thoughtfully, eyes on James the entire time, forcing the Priest to see the sincerity in his words.

"I guess I can understand that." He said, and the quiet fell down onto the two yet again. Quiet was something Logan wasn't used too, but loved when he got it. James, however, being almost the exact opposite of the boy seated in front of him, was all to use to silence. It was awkward, and he hated it.

It wasn't even a quiet silence. It's the type of silence where everyone around you is moving and having interesting, boisterous conversations, running about uncaring. Everyone around you is doing something, _except_ for you. It was painful.

So, wanting to ease the pain, James began to automatically hum the tune on the radio, following the beats and rhythm to a point.

Logan, who was drumming his finger to he beat against the cheap cafe table, smirked at the abashed Priest.

"You know this song?" He asked, taking a sip of his coffee, pointer finger still drumming.

"Ya." Was all James replied. He hated silence, but humming seemed to break it... And truthfully, if he talked to Logan, he'd look him in the eyes. James would notice, again, that sweaty sheen the boy seemed to be gaining in the heat of the cafe, and how attractive it was, forcing his shirt to cling to his toned body.

Logan shrugged, deciding to force James to talk, force James to look at him.

"It's in a musical, isn't it? I didn't know you were interested in musicals." He said sweetly with intrigue present in his voice. Logan was definitely gaining respect for James.

James let out a sudden, forceful laugh. "I am, I love them. I actually use to perform in all the plays during high school. I was usually the lead, unless I had something else to do, like football practice or homework..."

"Really? Football too, huh? Didn't think that'd be your kind of hobby. Musicals, just- wow, I'm shocked. So you really liked performing then, I'm guessing?"

"Ya, I loved performing." James spoke, nodding his head. "W-When I was younger, I wanted to be an actor or singer. Maybe even both if I could. My dream was to go to Hollywood and live like you do. Y'know, famous and all. B-But that never happened."

Logan quirked an eyebrow. "How come? You're cute enough, and you don't exactly need talent to make it in the industry, especially now a days."

This made James smile a little, which in actuality, was all Logan was aiming for. Start small, and work your way up.

"No, my Father... He never really approved, and he died my first year of college, so I had to take over the church."

"Couldn't somebody else have done that? Don't they, like, have a line up of new Priests or something?"

James shrugged, not exactly wanting to get into the depths of how one becomes a Priest. "Kind of, I guess. But, my Dad always wanted me to take his place, and he made sure that everyone knew that after he left this world, I'd be the next Priest for our church, no one else. He was controlling that way, but it's what he wanted me to do."

"But it's not what _you_ wanted to do."

James, yet again, nodded. His hand ran through his hair, eyes saddened, knowing what could have been if his Father hadn't controlled his life to a T."... No, not really."

Logan watched the brown bangs fall in front of James' beautiful eyes. The hazel irises glanced at Logan meekly, the embarrassment James felt obvious.

In Logan's mind, he had never seen anything more beautiful.

James' lips were parted softly, waiting for Logan to speak, when all Logan wanted to do was jump over the table and feel those lips against his own once again.

"Uhm, maybe we should go..." James spoke after moments of listening to the hustle and bustle of the cafe around them.

"Ya," Logan nodded, grabbing his keys and wallet from the back of his jeans, "Maybe you're right."

The boys paid for their half sipped cups of coffee, steam still rising from the mugs, and left the cafe together. The booming people of the cafe never spared the boys a second glance, to entranced in the world around them and only them.

The two walked the short distance to Logan's car, parked just around the corner in an abandoned parking lot.

Logan still watched every one of James' movements, wanting so badly to touch the taller male.

His skinny jeans were to die for, in Logan's humble opinion. They wrapped around the tall legs, and clung perfectly to the cheeks of his ass.

Logan bit his lips, forcing himself to look away.

They entered the car, and James only seemed to be withdrawing more and more into himself in the passenger's seat. His head hung low, and his fingers played with each other against his leg.

Everything the boy was doing was getting to Logan, right down to the small twitch of his left eye. Logan couldn't control himself. Not anymore at least.

He plugged the key into the emission and forced the wig he'd been wearing from his head. He jumped over the compartment box and quickly straddled James, taking the pretty boy's face into his hands and diving in for a kiss.

James gasped from his shock, but soon his eyes fell and he began to press his lips against Logan's, loving and adoring the feeling.

Things quickly became more forceful as they couldn't get enough of one another. Hands roamed freely over clothed backs and chests. Logan moan loudly when James dug his hands underneath Logan's shirt, digging his nails into his waist.

"Lo-Logan, we... we should stop." James spoke, hearing Logan's gasp and realizing he was the one to create that sound.

"Oh fuck no. Pease don't make us stop. I finally have you, I don't want to let you go. Not now, _please_."

James just brought Logan down in for another kiss, his mind was just going with the flow, never thinking about how this could hurt James' conscious later on when he began to over think everything.

* * *

The two fell onto Logan's made up bed, the clean and made up sheets ruined under the weight of the two males.

Logan fell on top of James, kissing him with everything he had. They moved further onto the bed, so James could rest his head against the pillows as Logan continued straddling him.

"Ohh God." James breathed with want. His hands were all over Logan, never missing an inch of the clothed body. He couldn't stop right now even if he wanted to.

He lost all of his control, and now he was just going by instinct.

The best thing nature ever gave to the boy.

Logan left James' swollen lips, beginning to press kisses all over the pretty boy's face. "Acts 18:9: One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: "Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent." Logan breathed between kisses, his mouth landing near James' stub-filled jaw.

James had to hold in his snicker. "Brushing up on your biblical verses?" He asked, suddenly a harsh intake of breath needed when Logan bit down on an extremely sensitive area nearing his earlobe.

"Oh yah." Logan whispered into James' ear. If it had been any other person, Logan would have left such a long time ago. He wouldn't have even given a second glance, nor spare a second thought. But James was different. A good different.

A kind of different where Logan wanted to help him out, rather than leave him in the dust. Which, in return, was why he studied and wrote down over 100 verses before deciding to talk with James. Logan's life wasn't all about Logan anymore, he wanted someone to be a part of it

James was laying beneath Logan, panting heavily and groaning.

"Thought they might come in handy." He breathed in an erotic fashion onto James' skin. He pivoted his hips forward, brushing harshly onto James'.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Jeremiah 29:11:"

"Loogan." James spoke, voice barely there. James then did something that surprised both him and Logan. He rubbed his hips along with the superstar's. Painful erection pressed against painful erection, thrusting against the other spastically.

"The things you do to me," James said with a weak laugh, followed by a heavy groan. He brought his hand up to Logan's neck, dragging the smaller boy upwards and away from his now marked skin, needing another kiss. James could feel that familiar warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, expanding and growing unwillingly slow.

They continued with their loud moans and groans, until Logan finally moved away, body collapsing onto James. He hid his face in the crook of James' neck, smelling the beautiful scent. He still moved the lower part of his body against the other, refusing to stop the beautiful movements, the beautiful sensations that were wracking his body, no matter how tired he was.

James threw his head back, grabbing Logan tightly around the waist, the dry humps growing in strength.

Finally, Logan screamed out James' name in euphoria, and James almost believed he was in heaven, feeling his own body and Logan's beginning to shake at the same time. They came together, holding the other's body tightly to their own as their underwear became wet with cum.

"The things you do to _me."_ Logan repeated James' own words, attempting to find his breath.

James emitted a small laugh, not allowing his penetrating thoughts ruin this wonderful moment he just had with Logan.

"It's so wrong, and yet it feels so right with you. Why is that?" James asked innocently.

"Because you want it," Logan began to answer, his mouth kissing random patterns into James' neck, holding the boy closer. Feeling the tightness of Logan's grip around him, James tightened his hold as well, loving the feeling of Logan in his arms. "-And you're finally allowing yourself to go for it. You're not running anymore, at least, not as much as you were. It's going to take time, but I'm sure one day you'll understand."

Logan let go of the small grip he had on James and lifted himself onto his hands. He pushed himself downwards so his head could use James' chest as a pillow, rather than the crook of the pretty boy's neck.

James sighed. Everything he's ever been told is slowly starting to go against him. Who and what should he believe?

Logan seemed to sense his impending thoughts, and began to continue talking. Something that he was seemingly good at in situations such as these.

"I want to prove to you that it's okay to do this without feeling guilty. That you can still be a Christian and a Homosexual. There isn't anything wrong with that, plenty of people do it….But until then," He continued on, sound muffled from the sweaty and built muscle of James' chest. "How about we start off simple? …. Can I take you on a date? Movie and dinner on me, tomorrow night at seven. Be there or be square." He said with a smirk, somehow knowing that James would show up, no matter what.

* * *

"_James, sweetheart, where are you?" The blessed voice of his Mother called out, entering her home after a long day of work._

_She knew her husband would still be at the Church, for they were holding a small concert for the town's amusement for the duration of the night, spreading the small town's local talent._

_That meant that Brooke had the entire house to herself and her son for the evening. A wonderful privilege that didn't meet Brooke as often as she'd like._

"_James, sweetie!" She called out once more, searching for her four year old son. _

_She heard a soft giggle from upstairs, followed by a small crash and a gasp._

_Sighing, Brooke took off her heels and ran up the stairs and into her bedroom. The sight that she found was a mixture between the cutest, funniest and what-exactly-happened type of shock that she had ever seen._

"_James, honey," She cooed, walking into the room and towards the child._

_Her four year old son, placed in front of her large mirror at her makeup desk, turned bug eyed towards her. He appeared shocked that he had been caught snooping around._

_His long brown hair fell just in front of his eyes, and Brooke had to laugh. _

_The child had chosen to put Brooke's reddest lipstick that she owned onto his own lips, using her brown eyeliner as lip liner. He had also mistaken blush as eye shadow, pink eye shadow for blush, and currently held an open mascara bottle, ready to set a stroke onto his already lengthened and dark eyelashes._

_Brooke was slightly relieved that she entered the room before James poked his eye out with her mascara._

"_James, what are you doing?" She asked, walking over and picking up the pouting child, cradling him in her arms. She fell onto the bed, allowing James to sit comfortably on her lap._

"_I... I just wanted to look pretty wike you!" He answered pitifully, trying to retain his oncoming sobs from being caught._

_Brooke grabbed a bundle of make-up wipes, beginning to take off the makeup caked onto her son's curious face._

"_I wanted to look beautiful wike you." He said underneath the moisturized cloth._

"_Oh, James. You are beautiful. 10x more beautiful than I could ever be, and better yet, you're handsome! That's much better than beauty." Brooke spoke sweetly, looking her son in the eyes, beginning to tug the red lip stick off of his lips._

"_No, don't wanna be handsome. Wanna be beautiful, wike you." He pouted dramatically._

_Brooke gave a soft smile. "Alright then, you're beautiful James. Always have and always will be."_

_The child giggled in her arms. _

_The two took off the last of the makeup and Brooke brought James down stairs, placing the child in a chair at the kitchen table. She brought out a large pot and soon began dinner for the two residents of the household for the evening._

"_Mommy?" The boy asked, after a particularly long period of silence._

"_Yes, James?" She answered, eyes set on pouring the correct amount of pasta into the already boiling pot._

"_Is it bad that I want to be beautiful, but not handsome?"_

_Brooke stirred the pot of spaghetti once more before turning off the boiler. She turned to her son, love apparent in her eyes. "Of course not sweetie. If you want to be beautiful, than be beautiful. And if anyone ever says that it's wrong, they're lying. They're just jealous okay?"_

_James nodded his head, still not smiling and giggling like he had been in the bedroom previously. This only concerned Brooke further._

"_But... What about you and Daddy? If I decide to be beautiful and not handsome, will you and Daddy hate me?"_

_Brooke brought the child in for a tight hug. It was difficult, as Brooke didn't bring him out of the chair and into her arms like she normally had done. Her back was particularly bad that evening, and holding the child in her arms was more difficult than usual. She was just a week away from beginning the Chemo treatment for her spine."We would never hate you, James. You can do and be anything you want to be. So, if beautiful is what you want to be, then be beautiful. We'll always love you. No matter what, alright?"_

_The child finally smiled in her arms, the missing-tooth grin wide for all the world to see. _

"_Okay," The boy giggled. "Can we eat now? I'm hungwy."_

* * *

That night, James fell onto his bed without a prayer. His heart was heavy and he felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Memoires upon memories were flooding his mind, and with everything that had been going on, James didn't know if he could deal with it anymore.

Being with Logan was so wrong, but it felt so right.

James just couldn't fathom it. Why was everything he'd ever learned a sudden contradiction.

Everything was just so confusing, a huge mess inside his head that James couldn't seem to clear.

With a soft sigh, he could feel his eyes beginning to shut, closing in the world around him.

* * *

A noise broke the beautiful sleep that the brunette seemed to lie in. He opened his hazel, green rimmed eyes and looked around. Bewilderment and disorientation met the boy as he had never seen this place before. Where was he? How did he get here? Everything was pitch black, leaving James alone in a world of jarring darkness. That is, until, a single light fell from the sky, washing over James completely.

A usually kind voice, this time filled with anger and hate began to beam down upon James, bringing the boy away from his own thoughts. 'Jesus taught that loving your neighbor was the most important. Is teaching people to hate who they are, love?' He asked, bringing James back to a certain conversation with a young Boy during confession a few days before.

James notices that he lay on a sidewalk going nowhere. There is no town, no village, no forest, no scenery. He just lay on one simple sidewalk, darkness surrounding his impending form.

James could only nod at the booming voice above. "N-No... My Lo-lord..."

"Then why teach such hate to a boy of that age, a boy with confusion and needs and desires. Why teach those same hates to yourself, when you are just as scared?"

James shook his head, unsure of how to answer.

"Father, I don't understand," James stated on the brink of tears. "The words of the bible, the scriptures, they all speak of the horrid acts of homosexuality. What was I supposed to believe?"

"Believe that I have a path for all of you. Go along with it, and don't try to stop it. Maybe you have a life with that Logan boy. Maybe you don't. Maybe there's another boy out there, waiting for you to realize who you truly are." He spoke with wisdom in his voice that only an elder could have from years of knowledge and experience.

From his position on the ground, James stammered repetitively, pitifully, "But, but, this isn't how it's supposed to work!" Only silence met the tearful brunette.

Finally, "Are you going against my word?"

"N-no... I'm sorry, my Lord, please forgive me..." James waited and still there was no reply, so once more he asked for forgiveness. God gave a reply that shocked even James. "No, you do not deserve forgiveness."

"Please!" James pleaded. "I'll do anything!"

"Then give me back my Dodo."

Humans have messed up on a lot of things. From selfish, self-centered actions, humans messed up. Killed species upon species. The Aurochs, Tasmanian Tiger, Irish deer.

And now, they were ganging up on their own people. Other humans.

Humans beg for forgiveness and believe that the forgiveness has passed, and they are free to continue their lives. But they're wrong. As long as they continue hurting others, dead as a Dodo they are.

" Father James," His voice spoke once again, this time softer, kinder. "Please recite to me, Psalm 3:3-6"

"B-But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people. Who have set themselves against me all around" James answered back, suddenly thankful for all those late nights rehearsing biblical verses for his Father.

"And, my Son," God's voice reappeared inside James' mind, filling the sadness and mixing it with relief and, what he hadn't felt for years, acceptance. "-In Roman 8:28 it states that 'We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.' Maybe, my Son, I've called you for this is your purpose. Prove to those around you what it's alright to be. Love thy neighbor. Love who you are, and that is all you need to be happy. That is all I ask of you, my child."

James jolted awake from underneath his covers on his bed, suddenly realizing what he has done wrong. His Father was wrong. James may be a homosexual, but it was who he was.

James deserved to finally feel his own happiness.

With that, he grabbed his phone, dialing a number he had memorized yet had never phoned once.

James was going to try and make things right again. For James.

* * *

"Great job! Great job!" James shouted from behind the curtain on the side of the stage. His boyfriend, Logan Mitchell, boyfriend of three years and now Fiancée, belted his heart out as the last song of the evening began to end. Tens of thousands of screaming fans made themselves heard, hoping to get one look from 'The Logan Mitchell'.

James also knew that many just came with the hope that maybe, just maybe, they could replace James and take Logan's love away.

Only James knew that he didn't need to be worried. Logan loved James, and James loved Logan.

They would never hurt one another by going for someone else for just one sweaty evening with no meaning. Logan didn't do that anymore. He had James.

"Thank you all for coming, New York! Thank you all for allowing me to live out my dream, thank you Madison Square Garden. Thank you New York!" Logan screamed into the microphone, unsure of how to finish with correct words after such a wonderful concert. With that Logan bounded off the stage, crying girls screaming and begging for him to come back. Encore, encore!

James didn't mind the tattered clothes or the sweaty sheen on his Fiancé as they pulled each other in for a passionate kiss.

"Love you." Logan giggled in an incredibly unmanly way.

James laughed, holding Logan close to his waist. "Love you too," He truly smiled. They pecked each other's lips once more, loving every moment of being in one another's arms.

"Alright, alright." Logan laughed. "I have a few backstage passers that I need to meet." Logan said cheekily, adding on a severely unneeded seductive wink at James.

James pouted. "Ohh, I have to let you go so soon? I was hoping to hold on to you all night."

"Mmmm, I'm excited for later tonight than, but until then…" Logan shot out of James' arms as a few back stage VIP's entered the back of the stage.

James watched from the sidelines as Logan smiled and talked to all of his fans as if they were old friends. He joked with them, gave them compliments and did a variety of pictures.

James couldn't help but admire Logan's passion for his job, his fans.

His adoration was cut short as a bouncing Latino made his way to Logan, being the last fan to talk to the singer for the evening.

He was short, and seemed nervous. James noticed a hand that the smaller boy's hands were attached to.

A tall male, younger than James with emerald green eyes and perfect blond hair, looked as if he were about to pass out from meeting his idol.

"Logan Mitchell, oh my- Y-you're such an inspiration! We love you so much, and just- oh my Lord. Can you please sign this?" The Latino brought out a shirtless picture of Logan, who immediately signed it with his infamously messy signature.

James, however, didn't notice the contents of the picture, he just noticed the certain way the smaller boy seemed to say 'Lord' and the soft brown eyes looking lovingly at the tall blond, sighing in exasperation.

"What's your name, Big Man?" Logan asked the Latino.

"Carlos. Carlos Garcia-" He answered without a pause. He then turned and pointed to his partner, or so James guessed the other male to be. "And this is Kendall Knight…. My boyfriend." Carlos smiled widely at the statement, as if he didn't believe it too be true.

"Lucky in love?" Logan asked, watching Carlos' eyes for the answer he expected.

"Yes, too lucky, if you ask me." The smaller boy retorts. Kendall, who seemed to begin re-entering reality, heard what was said and laughed, arms wrapping lovingly around Carlos' waist. Kendall placed a sweet kiss against Carlos' neck, making the Latino giggle loudly. "I'm the one that's too lucky, Carlos. Don't ever forget it."

Logan smiled widely at the display, not disturbed in the slightest. "I always love to hear things like that!" He shouted abruptly. He turned towards James, giving the taller brunette a gesture to _come over here_ and stand near Logan.

James complied, eyes wide in shock at seeing the boys for the first time in person.

James felt Logan wrap a hand around his waist protectively.

"C-Carlos?" James called out suddenly and unsure why. "You're… You're the boy-"

The Latino's large puppy dog eyes met James' own, shock and disbelief suddenly written on his face. "Father Diamond?" He gasped.

James wasn't sure what that gasp could mean. Either it meant 1) *gasp* Father Diamond, you hypocritical bastard! Or 2) *gasp* Oh my god, I can't believe that a man from my home town is dating the superstar from my home town, and oh my god, I'm just so excited right now, guys!

James so wanted it to be the latter, but he guessed it to be the first of the two options.

"I am so sorry," James began pathetically. "Everything I ever told you was wrong. Just… Take everything I ever said and throw it away. The verses, the scriptures, the paragraphs, everything. I was wrong. Just be happy and be who you are, I think that's what God truly wants…"

Carlos' eyes widened slightly, shocked at the strange words coming from James' mouth.

"Thank you, James."

"S-so… you forgive me? For giving you that advice all those years ago?"

A moment passes a Carlos seems to think about the question. A hand against his chin in deep thought, James held in a breath as Carlos nodded his head. "Yes, I forgive you… I guess you were going through just as hard of a time as me, now that I think about it" Carlos said, gesturing to Logan who watched the pair in confusion. Kendall was no different than Logan.

They had no clue what James and Carlos were talking about. To James, the widened eyes and shocked expressions seemed almost comical.

"And by the way, I already am happy." Carlos tightened his grip against Kendall lovingly. "I figured that one out a long time ago." He confided.

James gave a small laugh, hands wrapping around Logan's sweaty shoulders.

"You're lucky. I wish I figured it out long ago, as well."

But right now, it didn't matter, because to James, he did find out. It wasn't too late, nor was it too early.

The words of the Lord still followed him, but the kind ones. The ones that spoke of helping others less fortunate then you, speaking the truth, the kinder ones instead of the rabid.

James was finally happy and that's all he needed to get him through the day. He didn't need the support of his Father after all, because he soon realized that it was something unattainable.

Especially now since his Father's passing.

James sometimes liked to imagine that when he looked into the sky, he could see his Mother and God smiling down on him; they were proud that he had finally accomplished something that James was happy about.

He was a homosexual, and yes, there was the discrimination, but James was who he was.

Nothing was ever going to change that. Never again.


End file.
